Hari abantu twibuka atari uko bagumanye natwe igihe kirekire, ahubwo ari uko ari bo batumye bwa mbere tumenya uko urukundo rw’umuntu ukunda undi mu buryo bwihariye rumera.
Urukundo rwa mbere akenshi ruza umuntu ataramenya neza uko amarangamutima y’urukundo akora. Ni bwo bwa mbere ashobora gutegereza ubutumwa bw’umuntu akunda, akishimira cyane kumubona, cyangwa akumva umutima utera vuba iyo amwegereye.
Nubwo imyaka ishobora gushira, umuntu akagira abandi bakunzi ndetse ubuzima bugakomeza, hari igihe ashobora kongera kwibuka urukundo rwa mbere.
Ibi ntibisobanuye ko aba agishaka gusubirana n’uwo muntu, ahubwo bishobora guterwa n’uko urwo rukundo rwabaye igice cy’ingenzi mu rugendo rwe rwo kumenya amarangamutima no kwimenya.
Dore impamvu 7 zituma urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kugorana kwibagirana.
1. Ni bwo bwa mbere umuntu aba yumvise amarangamutima akomeye y’urukundo
Mbere y’urukundo rwa mbere, umuntu aba asanzwe azi gukunda ababyeyi, abavandimwe, inshuti n’abandi bamwegereye. Ariko urukundo rw’abantu babiri rutera amarangamutima yihariye.
Gutegereza ubutumwa bw’umuntu ukunda, kwishimira kubona izina rye kuri telefoni, kugira ubwoba mbere yo guhura na we, kumva unezerewe kubera ko yaguhaye umwanya cyangwa akakubwira amagambo meza, byose bishobora kuba ibintu bishya.
Kubera ko ubwonko buba butarabona ubundi bunararibonye busa na bwo bwo kugereranya, ayo marangamutima ashobora gusigara mu mutima no mu bwenge ku buryo bukomeye.
Ni yo mpamvu umuntu ashobora kuba amaze imyaka myinshi atandukanye n’uwo bakundanye bwa mbere, ariko hari ibintu bito bikamwibutsa uko yumvaga muri icyo gihe.
2. Umuntu ashobora kuba atibuka gusa uwo bakundanye, ahubwo yibuka uwo yari we icyo gihe
Hari igihe umuntu atekereza ku rukundo rwa mbere akibwira ko ari uwo muntu yifuza, kandi mu by’ukuri akaba yibuka n’igihe cy’ubuzima yabagamo.
Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kuba rwarabaye umuntu akiri muto, afite inzozi nyinshi, afite icyizere cy’ejo hazaza kandi ataragerwaho n’inshingano nyinshi z’ubuzima.
Ashobora kwibuka uko yari afite ibyishimo, uko yakundaga gusohoka, uko yakundaga kuvugana n’uwo muntu cyangwa uko ibintu bito byamushimishaga.
Iyo imyaka ishize, kwibuka urukundo rwa mbere bishobora kumera nk’ugusubira mu gihe umuntu yari afite indi sura y’ubuzima bwe.
Bityo, rimwe na rimwe umuntu aba atabuze gusa uwahoze ari umukunzi we; aba anibutse umuntu yari we mbere y’uko ubuzima bumuhindura.
3. Ibintu byinshi bibera mu rukundo rwa mbere biba ari ubwa mbere
Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kuba rwuzuyemo ibintu umuntu atazibagirwa vuba.
Ni bwo bwa mbere ashobora kuba yaragiye ku munsi w’urukundo, bwa mbere akagira uwo abwira ko amukunda, bwa mbere akakira impano y’umuntu akunda, bwa mbere bagafata ifoto nk’abakundana cyangwa bwa mbere bakagira n’impaka ziturutse ku rukundo.
Ndetse n’ibintu bisa nk’ibisanzwe bishobora guhinduka urwibutso rukomeye.
Indirimbo runaka ishobora gutuma umuntu yibuka uwo bakundanye. Ahantu runaka ashobora kuhanyura agahita yibuka ibihe bahamaze. Ubutumwa cyangwa amagambo runaka ashobora kongera kumusubiza mu bihe bya kera.
Ibi bituma urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kugira umwanya wihariye mu bubiko bw’ibitekerezo by’umuntu.
4. Akenshi ruhuzwa n’ibihe by’ubusore n’ubwigenge
Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kuba rufite umwihariko kubera ko akenshi ruba mu gihe umuntu ataramenya byinshi ku bibazo bishobora kuzana mu rukundo.
Muri icyo gihe, umuntu ashobora kuba atarigeze agira ububabare bukomeye bwatewe n’umubano, gutinya gutandukana cyangwa guhangayikishwa cyane n’ahazaza h’umubano.
Ibyishimo bishobora kuba bishingiye ku bintu byoroheje: kuganira igihe kirekire, gutegereza kubona umuntu ukunda, kumva ijwi rye cyangwa gushaka impamvu yo kumarana na we akanya gato.
Iyo umuntu amaze gukura, ashobora kubona ko urukundo rugira n’izindi nshingano n’ibibazo byinshi. Ni yo mpamvu rimwe na rimwe ashobora kwibuka bwa buryo bworoshye kandi butuje yakundaga bwa mbere.
5. Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kuba rwarabaye mu gihe gikomeye cyo gukura
Ku bantu benshi, urukundo rwa mbere rubaho mu gihe cy’amashuri, kaminuza cyangwa mu ntangiriro z’ubukure.
Ibi ni ibihe umuntu aba ahinduka cyane. Aba atangiye kumenya uwo ari we, ibyo ashaka kugeraho, inshuti ashaka kugira ndetse n’ubuzima yifuza kubamo.
Iyo umukunzi wa mbere abaye igice cy’icyo gihe, urukundo rushobora guhuza n’ibindi bintu byinshi by’ingenzi byabaye muri iyo myaka.
Ni yo mpamvu iyo umuntu yibutse urukundo rwa mbere, ashobora no kwibuka amashuri, inshuti, aho yabaga, indirimbo yumvaga, inzozi yari afite n’ibindi bintu byaranze icyo gihe.
Mu yandi magambo, uwo muntu ashobora kuba yarabaye igice cy’igice runaka cy’ubuzima kitazongera kubaho mu buryo bumwe.
6. Gutandukana nta bisubizo bihagije bishobora gutuma umuntu akomeza undi
Ntabwo urukundo rwa mbere rwose rurangira kubera ko abantu baba batagikundana.
Hari izarangira kubera intera, kwimuka, amashuri, akazi, imiryango, ibihe bitandukanye cyangwa abantu bagakura bagatangira kubona ubuzima mu buryo butandukanye.
Iyo umubano urangiriye ahantu hatasobanutse neza, umuntu ashobora gukomeza kwibaza ibibazo byinshi.
Ashobora kwibaza ati: “Iyo tutaza gutandukana, ubuzima bwacu bwari kuba bumeze bute?”, cyangwa “Ese iyo ibintu bimwe bitabaho, twari gukomeza kuba kumwe?”
Ibi bitekerezo by’“ese iyo…” bishobora gutuma urukundo rwa kera rusa n’aho rutarafunga igitabo cyarwo burundu.
Ariko kuba umuntu yibaza ibi ntibivuze ko agomba gusubira mu mubano wa kera. Rimwe na rimwe ni ubwonko bushaka gusa kumva no kwakira uko ibintu byagenze.
7. Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora guhinduka igipimo umuntu akoresha mu kumva urukundo
Urukundo rwa mbere akenshi ni rwo rutuma umuntu atangira kumva icyo gukundwa no gukunda undi bivuze.
Uko umuntu yumvaga ari kumwe n’uwo muntu, ibyishimo yagiraga, ibyo yigiye ku makosa yabaye ndetse n’ububabare yahuye na bwo bishobora kugira uruhare mu buryo azitwara mu yindi mibanire.
Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kumwigisha ibyo ashaka mu mubano, ibyo atifuza kongera kunyuramo, uburyo bwo kuvugana n’umukunzi ndetse n’agaciro ko kubaha umuntu mukundana.
Ibi ntibisobanuye ko buri muntu azajya agereranya abakunzi be bose n’uwa mbere. Ahubwo ubunararibonye bwa mbere bushobora kuba *ishingiro ry’ubumenyi bwe ku rukundo.
Kuki kwibuka urukundo rwa mbere bidakwiye gutera ubwoba?
Kwibuka umuntu mwakundanye kera ntabwo buri gihe bisobanuye ko ukimukunda cyangwa ko ubuzima bwawe bw’ubu butameze neza.
Urwibutso rushobora kuba urw’igihe cyahise kandi rukagira umwanya warwo mu buzima bw’umuntu. Hari abantu bibuka urukundo rwa mbere bakamwenyura, atari uko bashaka kurusubiramo, ahubwo kuko rubibutsa igihe runaka cy’ubuzima bwabo.
Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya gutandukanya kwibuka no kwifuza gusubira inyuma.
Umuntu ashobora guha agaciro ibihe byiza yagiranye n’umuntu runaka, ariko agakomeza kubaka ubuzima bwe bw’ubu.
Urukundo rwa mbere rushobora kuguma mu mutima kubera ko akenshi rutaba urukundo gusa. Ruba ruherekejwe n’ubwa mbere bw’amarangamutima akomeye, ibihe byo gukura, inzozi, ibyishimo, amakosa ndetse no kwimenya.