Mu rukundo, hari igihe ibintu bihinduka buhoro buhoro umuntu atabizi, kugeza ubwo umwe mu bakundana atakigaragaza amarangamutima nk’uko byahoze. Hari n’igihe biba bikomeye ku buryo n’iyo uvuze gutandukana, undi abyemera vuba cyane. Ibi bishobora guterwa n’impamvu zitandukanye zikurikira:
1. Kugabanuka kw’ibiganiro (communication)
Iyo abari mu rukundo batakivugana neza, ntibasangire ibitekerezo cyangwa ibibazo byabo, umubano ugenda ucika intege. Kutavuga neza ibitagenda neza bituma umwe atangira kumva nta gaciro agihabwa.
2. Kunanirwa mu marangamutima (emotional exhaustion)
Iyo umuntu ahora ari we ugerageza gusana ibibazo, gusaba imbabazi cyangwa kwihangana wenyine, ashobora kugera aho ananirwa burundu. Icyo gihe iyo uvuze gutandukana, abona ari nk’igisubizo cyari kimaze igihe yarabuze.
3. Kubura icyizere (trust issues)
Ibibazo byo kutizerana nko gukekeranya, kubeshywa cyangwa guhemukirwa bishobora gusenya urukundo buhoro buhoro. Iyo icyizere cyagiye, urukundo ruba rusigaye ari izina gusa.
4. Kudaha umwanya uhagije umubano
Akazi, inshuti cyangwa indi mirimo ishobora gutuma umwe mu bakundana atagishyira imbere umubano. Undi abibona nk’uko atagihabwa agaciro, bikamutera gucika intege.
5. Guhinduka kw’inyungu n’intego z’ubuzima
Hari igihe abantu batangira bakundana bahuje byinshi, ariko uko igihe kigenda bashobora gutandukana mu ntego cyangwa uburyo babona ubuzima. Ibi bituma urukundo rutakigira icyerekezo kimwe.
6. Kutagaragarizwa urukundo (lack of affection)
Ibimenyetso by’urukundo nko kwitaho, amagambo meza, cyangwa gukora ibintu byoroshye bishimisha mugenzi wawe bigira uruhare rukomeye. Iyo bigabanutse cyane, umubano urakonja.
7. Kuba yarafashe icyemezo mbere
Rimwe na rimwe, umuntu aba yararangije gufata icyemezo cyo kuva mu rukundo ariko akabigumana. Ni yo mpamvu iyo uvuze gutandukana abyemera vuba—kuko yari asanzwe abitekereza.
8. Kuba hari undi muntu winjiye mu buzima bwe
Nubwo atari buri gihe, hari igihe undi aba yaratangiye gukunda ahandi. Ibi bituma atakigira inyota yo gukomeza uwo mubano usanzwe.
Icyo wakora niba ubibonye
Gerageza kuganira na we mu bwitonzi, utamushinja ahubwo ushaka kumva uko abyumva.
Suzuma uruhare rwawe mu bibazo, urebe niba hari ibyo wahindura.
Niba ubona adashishikajwe no gusana umubano, jya wemera ukuri kare aho kuguma mu mubabaro.
Wubahe agaciro kawe urukundo rugomba kuba aho abantu bombi barwitaho.
Urukundo ntirupfa ku munsi umwe; rucika buhoro buhoro bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye. Kumenya ibimenyetso hakiri kare no kugerageza kubikosora bishobora gufasha kubaka umubano ukomeye.
Ariko kandi, iyo bigeze aho bidashoboka, kwemera gutandukana mu mahoro nabyo ni igisubizo cyiza.